The Importance of Honesty and a Realistic View on Life

  This post will be a deeper dive into the views expressed by Kieran Setiya in the introduction and chapter one of his book "Life is Hard." I also want to express why I relate to Setiya's views and his preference to see the world in a realistic way. The appreciation of hard truths is a large topic of discussion in the first chapter of the book and is something I will talk about as well. The saying "ignorance is bliss" is one that I don't personally agree with but am open to discussing. I understand the appeal of going through life blind to the negatives. However, I feel that it robs the ignorant of having authentic, beautiful experiences. In other cases, like that of Setiya, false truths can leave a person to accept that their abnormal pain is something they are forced to live with. A realistic view and the truths to back that up are two values that are important to me and that make up my day-to-day decisions.

 

When deciding on the topic for my final presentation, I had work piling up from other classes. I ended up picking a random chapter based on the date rather than the content. I was positively surprised by the chapter I had picked because I realized that Kieran Setiya's values lined up well with my own. In the introduction and first chapter of the book, Setiya recalls dealing with chronic pain for about thirteen years without knowing why. He went to doctors asking for help. They ran tests and looked for diagnoses, but everything came up negative. He was told that the pain was normal and to “try to ignore it if you can.” This was discouraging for Setiya, but after two doctor’s visits gave the same information, he took the advice and tried to distract himself. Thirteen years of discomfort passed and after experiencing an unusual flare-up of extreme pain, Setiya visited a third doctor, then a fourth, then a fifth. He mentions that the fifth doctor’s care led him to write this book. The prognosis was not encouraging, and the pain never subsided, but the doctor was honest with him and took his pain seriously. He didn’t try to spare Setiya’s feelings or give him calming words to make his condition less frightening. He gave the hard truth, which was what Setiya needed the most. His condition was uncommon and difficult to treat. He might be forced to live with it his entire life. But the doctor tried experiments to alleviate the pain. When the tests didn’t work, Setiya was given medicine to help him sleep. Though the pain never subsided, this doctor was the one to help Setiya the most through pure honesty. This is something I admire and hope to receive from those around me. I feel cheated when I’m not given the full truth about things that affect me. I would rather be told something true and hurtful or frightening than to be told a lesser truth that won’t prepare me for what I’m going to experience. Honesty is respectful and meaningful. When withholding information, we assume that a person can’t handle the brunt of it. We take on the burden of someone else’s mind without giving them the option of knowing. Or we withhold truth for our own good rather than someone else’s. Truth is important and pure. It is something we all need to survive in this world.

In chapter one of “Life is Hard” Kieran Setiya also discusses the affect of pain on our daily lives. He talks about being a realist and how it has taken him to where he is today. I’ve learned to have a realistic view of the world. I feel that it is a mix of optimism and pessimism. I find myself analyzing situations and deciding whether to approach them with pessimism or with optimism. This usually leads me to approach with a mindset that is somewhat in the middle of the two. I’m a careful person. I know that there are great evils in the world. But I also know that a life is not fully lived if those evils deeply affect everything a person does. So I settle with realism. I take the full information lying in front of me and decide what is best from there. This leaves me feeling content because I know that I have made the best choice for me. I feel great happiness without worrying if I’ve been too careless or feeling upset about things I’ve missed out on. This also connects to a large part of chapter one. Setiya discusses the importance of pain and whether it alone keeps people from living well. He decides that pain itself does not stop us from living well but that the way we react to it does. If we take pain as it is, understanding the depth of it, we can decide how we want to live from there. With a realistic mindset, we can come to terms with the fact that we will live with pain and make the best of the situation. Contentment is a feeling that is usually misjudged and underappreciated. A feeling of calm and acceptance is what I’ve found to help me live a better, more beautiful life. Pain can also lead people to feel a deep sense of loneliness. As I mentioned in my presentation, no one person can fully understand another person’s pain. We all feel pain differently. So this lack of ability to relate can make one feel deeply lonely in their own pain. However, this loneliness can also bring a person closer to their inner self. I know that in my experience, my pain has brought me closer to myself because I took the journey to understand and learn how to cope with it. I learned to respect myself and my needs and took the time to fully grasp what I was feeling. I think this can work for everyone feeling pain and feeling alone in it.

 

Discussion Questions:

1.     Is honesty, no matter how hurtful, important for a person to know and give?

2.     Does disability or pain keep us from living well?

3.     Can pain bring one closer to their inner self?