Should I pursue power or fame to vindicate my self-mattering, strive to have the fact of my existence register in as many lives as possible and in that way come to truly matter, or should I rather dedicate my life to the service of others? Should I strive to create something of beauty in the world, giving pleasure to many, or contribute to the ongoing search for knowledge that our self-characterization as Homo sapiens suggests we are supposed to be all about? Must I please a deity to whom I owe my existence and live out the purpose for which the deity might have created me, or live my life as if it were a work of art, cultivating such aesthetic qualities as style, originality, and coherence? Should I merge my identity with something greater than myself, something that will outlast me, perhaps a cause, such as justice for all, or, as in Buddhism, with reality itself so that my personal ego shrivels into the purity of nothingness? Or do I achieve mattering simply by doing my best by the people with whom the circumstances of my life have contingently bound me—my family and friends, my colleagues?"
— The Mattering Instinct: How Our Deepest Longing Drives Us and Divides Us by Rebecca Newberger Goldstein
The title of this book or passage-- How Our Deepest Longing Drives Us and Divides Us is such an interesting thought. Another proverb that crossed my mind when reading this was "out of the heart flows the issues of life"- Solomon son of David of the Israelite lineage. Upon reflection, reading this passage with my previous context of that proverb makes me thing about how my longings influence and have influences what I devote myself to and invest my time in. Our beliefs about our worth, whether inherent or earned, given from external sources (eg. a deity, a person, circumstances, behavioral responses) or cultivated from within the self, its existence or absence of it, shapes how we navigate the world. Behaviors are motivated actions, internally and externally shaped. The thoughts that one has about a thing fuels an internal train of though "feed", a stream of consciousness. I've experienced passionate drive that has served as a powerful catalyst for various behaviors of mine. Sometimes my motivating factor has been ill-informed, or poorly informed, but has shaped my perspective nonetheless. When I say ill informed, I'm referring to a lack of contextual evidence, an imbalance on either extreme of logos, pathos, or ethos. You don't know what you don't know, so I'm not putting a negative connotation on the things I didn't know in the process, that;s not realistic. Beliefs are formed over time and new information transforms our beliefs.However, that fuel, passion, or aversion to a thing, the forceful or intense nature in which I pursue a thing, or, if you're a person of imagery, the foundational ground (belief) that I build my actions on top of, shows that my behavior is influenced by that belief.
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