"Wonder & Hope" - My Interpretation of Chap. 6 of SSHM

 "No man is educated who has never dallied with the thought of suicide." - William James, quoting Benjamin Blood

Songs to listen to for this post: here or here

William James believed that life was worth living -- maybe. He explained that it is up to each of us to "make what we will" of life. Obviously, he didn't believe that death was deserved for some; instead, his 'maybe' was meant as more of a 'you just have to find its worth'. 

I believe similarly. I think there is worth in life if you look for it. As the quote above mentions oh-so-grimly, many of us have had the thoughts that lead someone down that path. While maybe not looking down a bridge at the water's edge, and maybe not as seriously as to hurt ourselves, I think most, if not everybody, has considered what would happen. Many of us, though, pushed the thought away before we could feel its consequences.

But what about those who don't? The jumpers who only feel regret after they've jumped off the ledge?

In the beginning of the chapter, when Kaag is atop the bridge, a haunting statistic is shared: every 15 days, another jumper takes their life in the East River beneath the Brooklyn Bridge in NYC. In fact, according to the CDC, all over the world, 1 person dies by suicide every 11 minutes. 132 people a day. 47,782 in a year. Kaag mentions in these paragraphs that there is a terrifying liberty in the choice to live or die, and I am inclined to agree. James himself said "there is a freedom each of us has in life to end it, but also to fix it". 

As I read this chapter and attempted to impart its wisdom, it was impossible not to think of the two people I had lost in my life to suicide: My uncle Mike and my aunt Lisa.

From what I knew of Mike (not my dad's true brother, but a true brother nonetheless), he was kind, and he was cool (to 8-year-old me). As a kid, my brother and I spent most summers at his Nashville home, with slip n' slides made of tarps, trips in the creek behind the house, and popsicles waiting to cool us off. He loved cars. His garage full of them felt so big to me as a kid, complete with a multitude of vintage signs (my favorite) and shiny muscle cars (his favorite). He also loved roosters -- they adorned almost everything in his home, from kitchen towels to statues.

And on April 14th, 2019, he took that liberty we all have and ended his own life. 

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When I read this chapter, it made me think of the life things have, and how even when they are gone physically, they are never truly gone. I still think of the warm June and July evenings spent at that house. 

Kaag, in the chapter, describes how nothing is truly lost. He describes it like this:

A small rock thrown into a river will settle into the water, beneath the ripples and waves, at rest at the bottom. The small difference, the "perturbations" of the rock in the water are still there, even if you aren't able to feel or remember them anymore.

I think of life and death that way.

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Mike's house was demolished a few years back after a fire nearly destroyed it. All that's there now (that I know of) is a field of dead, overgrown grass that will one day become condominiums or overpriced apartments. But it's still remembered as what it once was in many people's minds, and that memory keeps it alive, keeps that rock beneath the water throughout the waves of life.

His sister, my aunt Lisa (again, not blood-related), also took that liberty a few years later on December 31st, 2022. She was one of the most caring women you'd ever meet. A kindergarten teacher for almost 20 years, and a loving wife and mother. Her daughter was her light, and I spent many afternoons playing Barbies with her, or swinging on the big playset she built in a backyard gated by bamboo.

I still think of both of them often, and that choice they took in all its finality.

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William James describes the self as a model of spheres. At the center is the "material self", consisting of our bodies and our possessions. It's considered the most concrete aspect of our selves, but ultimately superficial. Next is the "social self", consisting of the recognition we get from friends and loved ones. It's how others see us in life. Finally, is the "spiritual self", consisting of our hopes, our dreams, and "the intellectual, moral, and religious aspiration". The spiritual self is the most expansive, but also the most neglected selfhood. Kaag describes it as "the wave that matters even when it is not fully detected or articulated". It is what remains after we're gone.

Our goal in life, in my opinion, is to try to feel the waves around us. William James thought that "it is a remarkable person who can sense [the waves] deeply with any regularity". The ebb and flow of life will always continue, but I believe we should try to stop and feel the waves of others, of emotion, of change and growth and natality, instead of trying to still them.

"The flood and the ebb continue to go out and come in." - John Kaag

As I write this blog post years after their deaths, I still feel their stones beneath the river from their time here on Earth. Even though I knew them for such a small time in the grand scheme of things, especially compared to those who loved them most, I still tear up thinking of them, even though it's been almost a decade. I try my best, every day, to never forget the feeling of their lives. - Haylie Thurman

p.s. 

I couldn't find another place to put these photos, but I still wanted to include them in the post. When you only know someone later in life, it's hard to imagine them younger sometimes. They were both teenagers/young adults once (as indicated by the photo op.), and they were even little kids in the 70s with bad haircuts once. Weird.

Holding On: SSHM Prologue (by Rylie Babcock, Section #1)

 

    “Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.” 

     Even if you haven’t seen the movie, you’ve heard this quote. Forrest Gump is about a man who isn’t really the brightest, and who spent his childhood wearing leg braces to correct his crooked spine while running from bullies. Despite these challenges, and his experiencing the horrors of the Vietnam War, Forrest maintains an overall optimistic view about life and positively impacts those around him. The future, the unknown, the possibilities were fascinating and encouraging to him. Like with a chocolate box, you will have good things and bad things, favorites and least favorites, excitements and disappointments. There may be things you didn’t like as a child but now love, and things you loved as a child but now, they aren’t really your taste. Each box is different and unique.

     Hopefully your box of chocolate is a little more uplifting than the one pictured above. Most other cartoons from the internet about this quote were also fairly depressing, which is interesting since it was spoken by a very positive character in a classic feel-good movie. Then again, life is hard–hard for most, even harder for many. With all the suffering we see on the news, in our own country and those next door and those far away, it can be difficult to feel anything towards life or to find any meaning in it at all. Why open the box to begin with? What if I don’t like any of the chocolates? What if after eating them I feel worse than I do now? Maybe it’s better to just throw the whole box in the trash and call it a day. I can’t control what is in the box, but I can choose to get rid of it. That choice has a certain, tangible outcome, unlike the choice of opening the box.       

    These are questions that countless people are wrestling with today, and that countless more have wrestled with throughout history. We’ve already discussed in class William James’ question of “Is life worth living?” which drove much of his philosophy and writings, and was the topic of an address he gave at Harvard in 1895. We’ve also read in great detail about his answer, “Maybe,” and that he believed hope was defined by “willingness to live on a chance.” (SSHM, pp. 174) Maybe life is worth living. I don’t have to open the chocolate box right now, but I also don’t have to throw it away either. I can just sit with it and think. 

     This idea is reflected in Jennifer Michael Hecht’s book Stay: A History of Suicide and Philosophies against It, which was mentioned in an earlier blogpost from Dr. Oliver. Hecht discusses different approaches to the topic of suicide, from historical, modern, secular, religious, and philosophical perspectives. Similar to Kaag biking upon the scene of Stephen Rose’s death on February 6, 2014 and feeling compelled to write a book for the sick and weary, Hecht was driven to write this book by her personal losses. Two of her very close friends committed suicide, just a couple years apart. In the preface, Hecht writes that life “isn’t too hard to bear, it’s only almost too hard to bear,” (Stay, pp. x) and describes that her purpose in this book is to throw her readers a rope, a lifeline, to cling to for the time being. Take things one day at a time. Wake up every day and choose to live for at least that day; once the decision to stay has been made, “anything may happen.” (Stay, pp. 234) 

      Hecht examines suicide throughout history by tell the stories of various figures, such as Socrates and Cleopatra. She begins with the story of Lucretia, a Roman noblewoman who committed suicide to “preserve her honor” in a sense; her story became a pillar of Roman virtue. There’s a lot to unpack there regarding victim-blaming and an obsession with female chastity, which I’m not going to tackle in this blogpost. Mainly, I wanted to just quickly mention a super cool woman, the Baroque artist Artemisia Gentileschi, who painted Lucretia four different times, as well as other women from history and the Bible, including Judith slaying Holofernes. Here’s one of the Lucretia paintings below.

   

To return to the main topic of whether life is worth it, one takeaway from the experiences of Kaag and Hecht and many others is that one of the greatest flaws of the human focus may be our tendency to not recognize how precious something is until we’ve lost it. We don’t realize how meaningful life is until we lose it, we don’t think of reaching out to someone and expressing our love and appreciation until it’s too late. Many times it takes an unforeseen, tragic loss or a frightening, near death experience to shake us awake to what’s really important. After Rose’s death, his family started a foundation, the Steve Fund, that provides mental health resources for underprivileged students. Another organization I’ve stumbled across while researching for my presentation/blogpost is Reasons to Stay, which is a suicide prevention project that posts anonymous letters, from strangers to strangers, encouraging the reader to keep going, to not give up, to stay. This project was started by Ben West and his family after he lost his little brother to suicide. Like Kaag and Hecht, West wants to offer a lifeline to those who may be struggling and show that people care, that there are reasons to stay. 

     Sometimes those reasons can be hard to find. 100 Reasons to Keep on Living lists, well, one hundred reasons to keep living, but the interesting thing about this article is that while some of the reasons are larger, like milestones of graduation, marriage, and first child, many of them are minor–the way rain sounds when it hits the roof, cookies that are still warm from the oven, the feeling of sunlight on your face. These little experiences are easy and attainable things to look forward to, and noticing them helps us to slow down and realize that each day is a gift. Each little moment builds on the next to form a whole lifetime. 

      James’ advice to “Be not afraid of life” (SSHM, pp. 5) is still relevant to our age. Life is about growing, and growth often comes from uncomfortable situations and messy mistakes. You’re going to fail, you’re going to be wrong, you’re going to mess up, but that doesn’t mean that you’re a failure and your life has no meaning. Life is a constant learning experience because all of us are living for the first time. There are so many things to try, so many places to see, so many people to meet, but we will never get to try or see or meet any of them unless we stick around long enough to do so. 

SSHM Chapter 2

Ainsley Stewart (Section #1)

SSHM CHAPTER 2

     The central aspect of my final presentation that I will be elaborating and offering my own perspectives on is a person’s reason to go on living, working, or pursuing their passion or hobby.   

     First, I'm going to give a summary of the second chapter of Sick Souls, Healthy Minds. This chapter’s overall theme is that despite the reality of life being suffering, each person must choose whether or not to live their lives in a hopeful light. In order to overcome the hopelessness of suffering’s prevalence, a person’s mind and soul must be “reborn” with a new attitude towards life. The way this “rebirth” comes about can look different for each and every person. Every person must find something that gives them hope for life and the will to go on. This “reason” is the way by which a person may make the choice to continue living. In order to make that choice, the person has to have a reason to do it in the first place. 

     William James experienced this hopelessness towards life. His resolution to be free, which was to believe in free will (therefore exercising his own free will) was what became his reason to go on. After reading Charles Renouvier’s Essais,  James realized that free will requires a component of action rather than simply belief. To him, free will needed to be put into practice. He resolved to exercise his free will in deciding to continue to live, in spite of his feelings towards the world and its suffering. 

     While James struggled with losing his hope for life even after his resolution to exercise his free will, he continued to strive towards having a hopeful outlook towards his life. James’s reason to keep going was his realization that he was free. Wanting to live was a conscious, continuous, and free choice he made. It’s important to note that no one was forcing him to choose this path! He understood that it was something he needed to do for himself. He realized that he didn’t have to give in to suffering, and that he could live the happy and free life that he wanted. He kept going simply because he could, and because he felt that it was worth doing so. Living in and of itself is a good enough reason to live.

     To summarize the overarching themes of this chapter: Continuing to live is a choice that a person makes. It is a very difficult choice while also being a necessary one. It is also a constant resolution one must make. You can’t decide to live one time and expect that attitude to persist through all of life’s troubles. Lastly, this choice is voluntary. It’s not one that you will be forced into. Suffering may outweigh pleasure in life as a general rule, but this doesn’t mean that we should dismiss the good parts of life as futile and pointless. The good moments are worth enjoying, no matter how small.

 

The power of choosing to enjoy life’s good moments. (By Shen Comix)

 

     Right now, my inner critic is saying, “What if I can’t find a reason to live? What if I just don’t want to. You can’t tell me what to do.”

     Well, I can’t. It’s your life and it’s your decision if you decide to continue onward or not. But! I’d say that even the smallest reason a person has for wanting to continue living makes it all worth it. In SSHM chapter 2, William James and his resolution to free will acts as an example of every person’s different reason for wanting to keep going. One thing that I’ve found in my own life is that no one reason is objectively better or worse than another. If getting to see your pet when you come home every day is the thing that keeps you going, then those moments are 100% worth living for. If eating your favorite brand of mac and cheese tomorrow is what gets you through the day without giving up, then that mac and cheese is so important, and you should treat it as such. Any reason you may have is, by definition, a good one! That reason gives you a means to choose to keep going. The fact that something as significant as your life (or your job, or your passion, or whatever you are considering giving up on) is at stake means that one reason, no matter what it is, carries so much more weight than you may realize. 

The significance of your life. From the Tennessee Driver’s Manual, pg 114. 

 

     Another encouragement I would offer to anyone struggling with enjoying the small things: Be proud of what you love! Don’t be afraid to be excited about things you enjoy. If you feel that the things you enjoy are not worth caring about because other people think they’re dumb, those other people are 🚨❌WRONG❌🚨. Enjoyment is subjective, which means that you can enjoy something as much as you allow yourself to. If someone else doesn’t enjoy it, then that’s part of the subjectivity of it. There is no inherent fault in having a genuine joy for your hobbies or for the things that you love. Even more so if that thing you enjoy is what gets you through the day, or the month, or the rest of your life! If it matters to you, it matters. Period.  

 

Your reason can be anything. This guy’s reason to go on is cheese! (By Martin Rosner)

 

     Here are some of my own thoughts on my discussion question: Have I had an experience where I made a conscious choice to keep going?  

     I have, and it was mainly in relation to academic burnout. I’ve had to get over quite a few humps when going through high school, mainly in relation to my will to continue performing well academically. I mainly pushed through because, well, you’ve got to finish high school. It’s kinda really important! I’m glad that I finished high school having done as well as I did, but often it was rough finding that reason to pursue those A’s. I think the main reasons I pushed through were the promise of academic success (which feels rewarding), the knowledge that I would get to college eventually to pursue my passion, and some silly little video game characters that I love. There were a lot of doodles of Pokémon characters in almost all of my notebooks in high school. Even if a reason of mine wasn’t directly related to school or whatever struggle I was dealing with, it still brightened my days during those tough times. 

     Now that I’m at college, I’m really glad that I pushed through. Sometimes pushing through is only possible because of our reasons, no matter how small. The important thing here is that I made that choice to keep going. No matter how much trouble and hopelessness I had to go through, it was all worth it in the end.

SSHM Chapter 2, From My Eyes

 Christopher Verdin 

Is life truly to suffer? Chapter 2 of Sick Souls, Healthy Minds by John Kaag speaks to the common and shared experience of suffering among all living things. Like a ship rocking in the waves, suffering is inevitable. I myself am an optimist. I desire to see the tiny blessings within the roughest of storms. James knew of people who would have viewed this as a "sham" (SSHM). James believes that those who believe this are in a consistent state of anhedonia. For those who want to know how to pronounce this word, it's an-hee-dow-nee-ah. Anhedonia is simply the inability to feel pleasure.

Now I am sure this is sounding like a really thought out and technical blog post about the themes of this chapter. But just for fun, I think I will be looser with my writing. I will take what some may consider suffering (writing a long winded assignment), and turn it into something pleasurable (being creative and true to who I am as a person.) I hope that is ok...

Suffering is obviously inevitable. I have definitely suffered in my life. I have at one point experienced this state of anhedonia. I think it is often the case where you or someone you know is rattled with constant fear, confusion, anger, anxiety, shame, depression, and pain. My life has been a reflection of what Kaag writes, "suffering is not the exception but the rule." (SSHM Pg. 43) And though I don't fully believe in the principles of macro-evolution, James is right when he connects all living things through the inevitable suffering of Darwin's survival of the fittest.

But as I mentioned previously, I am an optimist. I believe there is always something good to be acknowledged through the rough waters of life. For example, if I get a flat tire while on my way to work, I would firstly think about how I would be late to work. But, I then acknowledge the blessings of my circumstances. I have a job. I have a car. I have roadside assistance covered. I am not stuck here. Now, I do disagree with the premise, at least in my lived experience, that optimists tend to overlook suffering. I can and have fully acknowledged the suffering I have been through. But instead of dwelling in my past, in that suffering, I can look to the future knowing that without suffering, I would not be the person I am today. "And which of you by worrying can add a single day to his life's span?" (Mathew 6:27)

I will say that I can think of the world in this way because I have been "born again". For me, the definition is a little different than how I believe William James would describe it. James however believes that to be able to get past this feeling of anhedonia, being reborn is a necessary and a radical transformation that needs to occur in one's life. (SSHM Pg 44) For some, this can look like reaching the lowest point, possibly close to death, and realizing the only thing you can do now is go higher. It is the only reasonable and obtainable choice. I personally believe that being born again is a choice. It is something that a person has to reach for in order to obtain. John Kaag explains in this chapter an example of how he may understand this rebirth (SSHM Pg 44-46), but I would like to use mine as an example. I find that being born again is a very religious term that within this book has been turned secular. For me, my rebirth was accepting Jesus as the leader of my life, following him, forsaking my flesh, and producing the fruit of the gift of this new life. I, like mentioned before, was at a very low point in my life (as most of those who turn to faith have been). When I turned to Jesus, which was the choice I and all are provided, I was radically changed. My heart of stone was removed and in its place a heart of flesh was placed. I believe this change was supernatural. James, though later in life was deep into the supernatural workings of the world, would credit his rebirth through a much more personal and natural lens. James, in 1870 was reborn when he read part of the work of Renouvier speaking to the scientific nature that freewill possesses.(SSHM Pg 47) It is to my understanding that the issue of freewill was a plaguing question on James' mind through his life. After reading Renouvier, he decided that his first act of freewill was to believe in freewill. And from there, his life was transformed. (SSHM Pg 49) 

After James was transformed by this act of free will and born again, his life genuinely started moving in the right direction. He got back into the vocations he loved, he had a brighter outlook on life (SSHM Pg 49-51). Unlike James, I believe that to be born again is final. Being born again is an actual change that can not be undone. James however believes that you can die again after being reborn but it is to your advantage to be born a third time, or even as many times as necessary. James went through many struggles, ups and downs in his journey of rebirth, as most of us do (SSHM Pg 51-52). One such struggle was coming to the understanding that the rational decision to believe in freewill may not be so rational afterall. James comes to the conclusion that rational decisions are not based in mere fact and reason, but in our emotions, or lived experience which everyone differs on. Therefore, what may seem rational to us may not actually be a rational thing (SSHM Pg 52-55).

For me, and maybe you would agree, following Jesus may not seem like the most rational decision (at first). To believe that there is a God who cares enough about us that He would sacrifice Himself for the sins we have committed honestly sounds ludicrous. But my belief and faith in this possibility is not to the disadvantage of me or those around me. My belief provides me a sense of belonging, of joy, of love, and peace. It is to my advantage that I believe in what may be unbelievable. In the same way that I put my faith in God, James uses a possibly irrational decision to his benefit when interacting with his future wife Alice. James himself did not believe in the possibility that he could be loved, like I didn't believe that Jesus wouldn't love me as much as I now know he does. James however would not have known whether this possible relationship with Alice would have even worked out if he had not willed to believe that it was possible. 

I think this is the overall message of this chapter. That if you don't will to believe that something is possible, you will never know if it is. It may not be the most rational decision, but if it holds no harm to you or others to believe, then just do it. There are so many instances where this has applied in my life and I am sure it can apply to yours as well.

Defence of my post:  

 "James believes that those who believe this are in a consistent state of anhedonia." (My words) - This is refering to those who would call what I believe as an optomist a sham. "James, however, knew many intelligent people who thought optimism-and enlightenment for that matter-was a sham". (SSHM Pg.42) Context for this was in the previous sentances. 

"Suffering is obviously inevitable" - This is the case, from my perspective and the perspective of my  faith (Context in which Im writing), because we live in a fallen world. Due to the sin of Adam and Eve in the garden we have separated oursleves from God. We have fallen into a state of sin and suffering based on the actions they, and we, have committed. I would also agree that suffering is a part of life, and not everyone suffers to the same degree as others, and yet it remains true. 

"And though I don't fully believe in the principles of macro-evolution" - For this, I would like to highlight the word "fully" in the sentance. Because of my faith, I don't believe in the maco-evolution of Homo-Sapians as we are today. I should have clarified within my post that I believe all animal evolution is likely correct. 

"I have been "born again"'- My definition of being born again, "I find that being born again is a very religious term that within this book has been turned secular. For me, my rebirth was accepting Jesus as the leader of my life, following him, forsaking my flesh, and producing the fruit of the gift of this new life. I, like mentioned before, was at a very low point in my life (as most of those who turn to faith have been). When I turned to Jesus, which was the choice I and all are provided, I was radically changed. My heart of stone was removed and in its place a heart of flesh was placed. I believe this change was supernatural." (My words) As for William James view, throught he context given in Chapter 2, " being reborn is a necessary and a radical transformation that needs to occur in one's life. (SSHM Pg 44) For some, this can look like reaching the lowest point, possibly close to death, and realizing the only thing you can do now is go higher." (My words)

"being reborn is a necessary and a radical transformation that needs to occur in one's life." - This wording was more or less pulled from the book itself. Whether I believe that James is correct in his wording or not depends on the individual experiencing it. I would say that those who are contemplating suicide as their only way out often need a radical change to "at least bear, the act of living" (SSHM Pg. 4). It may come easier to others though.

"I believe this change was supernatural." - In the instance of my rebirth, I would equate it to a supernatural occurance due to the fact I was struggling to make this change by my own will power. I would gather that those who do not believe in the supernatural would not make the same infrence to the orgins of this rebirth or much of what I have seen or felt as a follower of Christ. I am not sure how much of my lived experience can be challenged when there is no shared belief in a spiritual world.

"I believe that to be born again is final. Being born again is an actual change that can not be undone." - Being born again in a religous sense is diffrent than the secular. For those who claim to have been born again through Christ and who then relapse and choose otherwise have not truely been born again. You can't be a new creature in Christ and then go back to the way you were before. (Just my view).

"that rational decisions are not based in mere fact and reason, but in our emotions," - I would say that it would not be both. What seems rational to me may be irrational to another person even with the same facts. 

 

Questions for Chapter 2 SSHM:

1. Do you believe that suffering is a consistent issue in your lives?
2. Do you feel that in any way you have been reborn?
3. What are current issues that you can solve by willing to believe they can be?

On Hope, Wonder, and Searching for Life's Meaning

Presley Baker

(TW: This post deals briefly with the topic of suicide; if this topic is distressing for any of you, feel free to skip right past this post.)

IS LIFE WORTH LIVING?

This is the question that haunts the narrative of Chapter 6 of Sick Souls, Healthy Minds by John Kaag. While walking to the Brooklyn Bridge, Kaag is confronted by a sign that states "LIFE IS WORTH LIVING" (pictured below). Kaag goes on to explain that the Brooklyn Bridge is the marker of many peoples' final moments, and this sign is meant to be a reminder of the preciousness of life. This sign caused Kaag to linger on William James' idea on this matter, and he rephrases the statement- "LIFE IS WORTH LIVING-MAYBE". As per the Jamesian philosophy, meaning is ascribed by the "live-r" of the life. None of us can give someone else's life meaning, but we can try to drive them to believe their life holds some inherent meaning. 

(Apologies for the quality, this was the best image I could find)

This is the most beautiful, and conversely, the scariest part of life. We define our own life's meaning. We have the free will to make the decisions that create our own legacy. Free will is both wonderful and terrifying. Our decisions are nothing but our own, and so are the consequences of them. 

While I see where James and Kaag are coming from, I can't help but disagree with the "maybe". Though it's meant to be comforting, I personally find it to be distressing. I'm not gonna go into the deep specifics on my life, but to summarize, I have been at these low points where life seems so bleak that I am at a loss on how to continue. And yet, I found that I had slowly built a life with so much meaning that I simply cannot imagine it ending at any chosen moment. That's exactly where hope comes into play.

HOPE

"Hope is what keeps our spirit alive."- Me (I think)

Kaag speaks at length about the ripple effect of life. If you toss a rock into a lake, it doesn't just disappear without a trace. Instead, the lake's surface ripples from the momentum of the rocks force. Our lives have the same effect. No one can live without having some kind of impact, whether good or bad. I find this to be a hopeful statement. You cannot live without making an impact on others, so strive to make it a good one! You will have a legacy! You will not be easily forgotten!

There is so much beauty in this world. I will never be able to stress this point enough. My advice to someone who feels like they need a break from life: GO OUTSIDE! Every single time I need to clear my head, I simply go outside, and sit in the sun, or walk somewhere in nature. Something about getting outside, feeling the sun on your skin, and being able to hear the birds sing truly is restorative for the soul. Take note of the animals in particular. Their lives are so much less comfortable than ours, and yet they still persist in their habitats. Below I have added an image of Zion National Park, which is my personal favorite national park. Being outside has always helped to clear my anxious, racing mind.

WONDER

"He who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as

dead; his eyes are closed." - Albert Einstein

Wonder is such a strangely "wonder"-ful thing. When we are young, so many of us chase after our wonder, looking at the world with such joyfully big eyes. In the busy-ness of our current world, it can be hard to keep that creative, wondrous spark that we are all born with. We are told that, in order to mature, we have to "grow up", and adapt to adult life. But growing up should not mean losing our spark. 

Another thing that is hurting our wonder is the inability to be bored. I noticed that this wasn't something that Kaag discussed in terms of wonder, but I find it to be one of the most detrimental problems affecting our sense of wonder. We are constantly surrounded by stimulation, screens, and just noise. This noise makes it almost impossible to just sit with our thoughts. In order to have wonder, we need to just sit with ourselves. No distractions. No noise. No getting away from our own minds. Nothing to draw our attention away from the world in front of us, no screens filling our brains with information (or misinformation) that we don't need. Now I'm not saying we should all toss our phones into a lake (take that, ripple effect!), but it is becoming harder and harder to think for ourselves because of them. 

Think about it this way: if we have all the information we could ever want just one google search away, then why ever consider any of life's questions ourselves? Why read any book when Sparknotes has summary of it already? Why would we experience anything new when we could live in a bubble? Actually, why create anything when AI might be able to replicate it so much faster? 

All of these questions have been at the forefront of my mind since reading this chapter. Our world has slowly began to adapt out of wonder, which I find to be a terrifying thought. But there is hope. People have not stopped creating. Many oppose AI creating art, writings, and false information. The rate of people reading has actually increased for the first time since the creation of the phone. I think we are beginning to re-learn that a life without wonder is bleak. In fact, I would argue that a life without wonder lacks some of the meaning that we need to keep on living. 

So I ask you, reader, what makes you wonder? What makes you hope? Whatever it is, hold on to it tight, and whatever you do, don't forget about it. Life is so much brighter with that glimmer of hope, and so much more interesting with that spark of wonder. 

The end is near

Yes, but...

 

Penultimate happiness: "I can't stand it!"

To Henry Adams: "...Though the ultimate state of the universe may be its vital and psychical extinction, there is nothing in physics to interfere with the hypothesis that the PENultimate state might be the millennium-a state in which a minimum of difference of energy-level might have its exchanges so skillfully canalised that a maximum of happy and virtuous consciousness would be the only result. In short, the last expiring pulsation of the universe's life might be, "I AM SO HAPPY AND PERFECT THAT I CAN STAND IT NO LONGER!" --William James, Letters June 1910 [he died in August]

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...Let my last word, then, speaking in the name of intellectual philosophy, be his word.–“There is no conclusion. What has concluded, that we might conclude in regard to it? There are no fortunes to be told, and there is no advice to be given.–Farewell!” --WJ, A Pluralistic Mystic

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“The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existence. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery each day. --Albert Einstein, Old Man's Advice to Youth: 'Never Lose a Holy Curiosity.'" LIFE Magazine (2 May 1955) p. 64”

Arthur’s people, and mine

Arthur has come in for some harsh bashing lately, especially in The New Yorker. It’s not all undeserved. But I’m looking forward to his Vandy commencement and residency this year (a dear family friend is graduating) and appreciate his past contributions to happiness scholarship (and popularizing). And I share his positive feeling for ambitious and aspirational students. 

 “I was born to be a college professor and, in fact, have been on campuses since I was a baby: My dad was a professor. His dad, too. For me, academia is the family business, and mine as well since I took my first professorship nearly thirty years ago. The research is interesting and rewarding, but even more, the students are my people—ambitious strivers just starting out on what promise to be terrific careers and lives. They give me energy because they always are so inspired by ideas, so purpose-driven, and so enthusiastic.” — The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness by Arthur C. Brooks

‘the ethical sphere’, or simply ‘the world’

Regina was lucky, to miss all that anger and self-pity. But is sharing negative emotions really what marriage is for? And is ethics really just being judgmental? 

 “Kierkegaard had no wife to talk to at the end of the day, and instead he wrote out his anger and self-pity in lucid, finely detailed prose. This was unusual, but his feelings were not: when we read his journals we recognize his ignoble sentiments because we already know them intimately. In his philosophy Kierkegaard interrogated the human habit of judging, so deeply rooted in our private thinking and collective culture that it is very nearly inevitable, and he called this ‘the ethical sphere’, or simply ‘the world’, because (like Plato’s cave) it surrounds and encloses us. But though the judgements of others are as difficult to avoid as our own, Kierkegaard believed that none of these human judgements is absolute or final. It is always possible, he suggested, to occupy a different place–for each individual belongs to a sphere of infinite depth, which he called ‘inwardness’, ‘the God-relationship’, ‘eternity’, ‘the religious sphere’, or simply ‘silence’. His writing opens up this sphere, right at the heart of life, and beckons the reader into it.” — Philosopher of the Heart: The Restless Life of Søren Kierkegaard by Clare Carlisle

Consciousness, transcendence, ... and laughing gas?

John Kaag’s Sick Souls, Healthy Minds: How William James Can Save Your Life (Chapter 4)  

https://archive.org/details/principlesofpsyc01jame 

  

“How could life go on, how could it “flower and fructify”  

        Within only a few years, William James first lost his father, Henry James Sr., before losing his young son, Herman, to a fatal case of pneumonia. This tragedy compelled James to question if life could be “anything other than intolerable mysteriousness of this thing called existence”. He escaped in his psychological studies of consciousness, particularly in the realm of transcendence. James’s misery fueled his research as he aimed to discover if “consciousness might allow him to transcend to dramatically stretch the bounds of human finitude”, as John Kaag explains in Sick Souls, Healthy Minds: How William James can Save Your Life.  

      In his exploration of consciousness, James faced the infamous ‘mind-body problem’, or the ‘hard’ problem of consciousness. James believed consciousness was a deeply personal, unique, and subjective experience. It is impossible to capture the elusive nature of everyone's experience, as your thoughts are never entirely still. James believed that your consciousness cannot be grasped by empirical data, as it is impossible to understand someone’s thoughts directly. We may have the ability to communicate how we feel and think, but those messages are translated and transformed into new thoughts. Furthermore, you cannot stop fully aware of your thoughts, as they are a continuous, changing flow of sensations, feelings, and thoughts that connect new thoughts. James believed this movement resembled a flow of water, coining the term ‘stream of consciousness’.  

 

        Personally, I found great consolation in the concept of each of my thoughts being “perfectly unique and perfectly my own”. While it may not seem profound, I’ve never considered that your mind is like a fingerprint, with none quite just the same as yours. I found it even more shocking to think that each thought we experience can never be felt in the same way again. For example, when you first watch an incredible film, you may be left chasing the same feeling you got at first sight. However, the conditions that led to the initial emotional reaction can never be precisely replicated. I think we can all relate to chasing the thrill of the feeling the first time you listened to a song, the first time you rode that ride you love, or even the first read-through of a great book. I feel now, though, that maybe I’ve underappreciated the multitude of experiences I stand to gain each time I listen, read, or watch anything. Each run-through is perfectly unique, and if we spend less time chasing firsts, I think we will find much greater pleasure in all that we do.  

Kaag describes how we often rely on the assumption of identity and similarity, failing to recognize the immense difference in our environments every day. Each day, we anticipate the rise of dawn and fall of dusk, but no sunrise has ever been precisely the same since the beginning of time. As I’m watching the sky turn darker from my window, it feels bittersweet to imagine I will never see another quite the same. Like the unique arrangement of clouds and lavender in the sky, I think we tend to overlook the difference in our lives every day as we jumble them together in their similarity. I’m certainly guilty of complaining about the monotony of school and work, but I can’t think of any two days in my life that have been entirely the same. In focusing on the similarities of my day, I feel a bit regretful reflecting on the things I have missed.  

       

The beautiful sunset I enjoyed this weekend. :)

 

So maybe the secret to transcendence is to become more aware of our surroundings, to open our eyes, and see what we ignored before? 

 

    William James wasn’t willing to rule anything out, yet. His studies led him to stumble upon Benjamin Blood’s The Anesthetic Revelation and the Gist of Philosophy.detailing trials with nitrious oxide in pursuit of transcendence. Blood’s goal was to break free from his usual perception of reality, as he believed that transcendence was just outside of what we could experience in our day-to-day life. James was fascinated by the concept, and despite widespread ridicule by the science community, he wanted to experience a trip for himself. So, for the following years, James conducted his own personal experiments with nitrous oxide (or laughing gas). While he may not have landed on the transcendence he initially anticipated, James did conclude something equally valuable: that we should resist ‘overblown philosophizing’. Instead, James figured that the most valuable information about ‘being’ is not beyond our reality, but rather it is just within our grasp, unexplored. James considers Blood’s literature a stepping-stone in his explorations; he rejects the need to escape reality to understand the ‘secret of being’.All it takes is waking up to what has been here all along, the immediate, overbearing feeling of presence.  

    The key to transcending is not entering a new realm of reality but relishing the wealth of reality that surrounds us. Transcendence is a ‘coming to’ that cannot be pinpointed or particularly grasped. It is a sense of existence that we cannot ordinarily understand. It is the awareness of consciousness that can be achieved when we find an inner significance. Consciousness can only expand in the mysteriousness of existence, when we answer for ourselves the question of existence by the profound awareness of our own. I think these moments can be felt in grieving death, such as felt by Kaag, as we realize the finitude of our existence. Additionally, we discussed how self-reflection can lead to a greater sense of awareness that may contribute to that ‘coming to’ moment.  

    I find great joy in the idea that transcendence is not limited to a psychedelic trip or religious overturn, but that perhaps it is a part of human condition. That every person is perfectly capable of gaining higher consciousness, be it in emotional turmoil or deep internal reflection. These fleeting moments of awareness and wokeness call into question, again, the mysteriousness of our existence. It can be overwhelming to question our purpose while we mindlessly go through the motions of school and work. We are constantly reminded that if we do not perform adequately, we will be replaced by someone more equipped.  We move so quickly that we forget to stop and remind ourselves that each moment is precious and one-of a kind. Similarly, as James reminds us, each person is perfectly unique with a perfectly unique consciousness. There is no one quite like you and absolutely no person that can replace the impact that you have, because no one can replicate you entirely.  

(Please disregard the watermark, philosophy cartoons are unaffordable in this economy...)