Another Conversation Over Coffee

    

On a quiet snowy night, I returned to that same coffee shop I met Nigel Warburton, Julian Baggini, and Kurt Anderson in all those months ago. In the interest of reminiscing, I glance back over to the table they were arguing around and I notice a few familiar faces. While I have not seen them in this coffee shop before, I recognize them as Susan Neiman and John Kaag. I make my way over to them hoping they would be willing to talk. As I near, I notice an old friend is with them. Nigel has returned to the little old coffee shop. They all seem invested in books at the time, so I clear my throat.

    "Hi, my name is Shelby. I hope I am not interrupting too much, but I recognized you all and was wondering if you would be willing to answer some questions that have been on my mind," I say, hoping they might answer.

    Susan Neiman sets her book down, "I'm always willing to help someone learn. I'm sure my friends here would agree." Nigel looks up and recognizes me.

    "Here to grace us with more questions I see? I'm glad you recognize my new friends, and I would be very happy to answer your questions again."

    John Kaag laughs and responds, "well if Nigel is this happy to hear from you again, I would love to answer your questions."

    "To you, what does it mean to grow up? Why should we?" I question.

    John Kaag speaks up first. "Ahh, this one is interesting. Being a grown-up is a concept many will argue, but to me, it's more about maturity and wisdom. So often people will say to younger generations 'don't grow up' and go on to list what growing up will rob you of, but they fail to note all of the blessings that come with it. Being grown grants you the freedom to think for yourself. Personally, it means being able to balance a sick soul out with a healthy mind. William James once said 'Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact.' On bad days, that quote helps me hang on. On good days, when my own sick soul is quiet, this insistence works for me."(Sick Souls page 10)

    I respond, "so basically we should grow up so that we can balance out our sick souls?"

    "To an extent, yes. It comes with the territory when one grows out of that angsty teenage phase. The only problem with that is that some people never do. They let their sick souls take over almost entirely and never try to facilitate a healthy mind," Kaag responds. 

    Nigel Warburton begins to speak, "Oh, you and your idolization of William James. To answer your question, Shelby, I must refer to the one and only John Locke. Growing up means changing and becoming a new person. John Locke believes that while you may be the same physical man or woman, you are not the same person as you were as a child. Who you are as you grow up results from your collection of memories and experiences. We grow up to develop our own personal identity. It does not depend on our age or the number of wrinkles on our face, but the level of maturity that we reach." (Little History chapter 14).

    Susan Neiman is the last to answer, "I may as well be the expert on a topic like this thanks to my book, Why Grow Up?.  Not to mention, I did talk about this in an interview with Vice magazine. I see growing up as thinking for yourself. It's listening to others and creating your own ideologies based on that. We live in a time where we can just turn on or read any source of media and adopt the opinions of others with no questions asked, which has lead to a society of almost infantile adults. Growing up is understanding the difference between 'is' and 'ought'. Knowing how the world is versus how it ought to be. As a result, we have to want to grow up. All of us need to decide 'We're working on growing up. We want to be self-determined adults, not children who are closing our eyes.'"

    I quietly reflect on their words for a moment, then I decide to ask another question. "What makes life worth living?"

    Neiman pauses for a second, then inhales to answer. "I think the ability to add something to the world makes life worth living. We need to live life because it is harder than you think, so hard that it can amount to resistance- even rebellion. Live life so maybe one day you can change someone else's."

    John Kaag chimes in, "I have an interesting perspective on this as early this year I had a heart attack, which I talk about in a podcast with The Investor's Podcast Network. That very question is something that hit me hard after my open-heart surgery. What makes life worth living is solely dependant on the liver. Everyone will eventually answer yes or no to the question 'is life worth living?'. If you answer no, you will eventually leave us. Those that answer yes generally have some absolute. For Christian theologians, typically it is because God's creation is perfect and we should not destroy it. For other philosophers, we live in the best of all possible worlds, or as long as we have rational capacities, life is worth living. No matter what, people find any number of good rationales and stand by them. James even tells us it is always up to whoever is doing the living. He does not tell us life is always worth living."

    

    Warburton is the last to answer. "I gain my reasoning from Socrates. Life is only worth living if you think about what you are doing. Life must consciously be examined and questioned to be worth living. Albert Camus can also give us some insight into this field. Realistically, he believes human life is pointless, comparing it to Sisyphus' punishment of rolling a rock up a mountain only for it to roll back down and the cycle starts anew. Something about that small pointless struggle makes it preferable to death. Anything we do gives life some meaning." 

    Kaag nods at Warburton's answer. "Yes, there are the absolutes I was talking about. However, I am curious about your own answers to these questions."

    I appreciate the acknowledgement and begin my answer, "to be completely honest with you, what it means to grow up is just the ability to acknowledge your mistakes and learn from them. It's the ability to civilly discuss issues and maturely learn from those around you. It's taking care of yourself up to your means. It's taking responsibility for your actions and their consequences, be it good or bad. I also don't necessarily believe there is a solid reason to grow up. We have to if we're going to better society. We don't necessarily do it because we want to, as it does come with hardships, but it also happens, for me at least, as a result of going through hardships. I personally agree with you, John, that whether or not life is worth living is up to the liver. I want to live in hopes of making the world better or easier for someone else."

    The three stop to ponder my answers. Silently, they nod.

    "Thank you for answering me. I do appreciate your time, but I must go if I want to get to class in time," I tell them. They all say their goodbyes and I am on my way. I glance back to see them returning to their reading and note-taking, knowing that I learned something today.

Shelby Pittman 

Section 10