Final blog post- Tyler Jones

 It’s a warm spring afternoon on a saturday. A fundraiser is being held for the support of helping children with disabilities being able to participate in the sports of their desire. For this event a friendly game of softball is being played by volunteers and participants. Being a huge advocate, I was a team captain. My first three picks: Susan Neiman, John Kaag, and Dr. April Jones.

 

Me: Now that we have our teams picked, let's play! I picked second, so we bat first.

Little did my teammates know, I really wanted them on my team for my own personal agenda. I have some serious questions I want answered. I find myself pondering on these topics quite frequently. I make the batting line up to where I can get enough time to talk to each of them. Naturally Kaag will be our lead off hitter, with the hopes he doesn’t strike out, he will be the second person I talk to. Nieman will bat fourth being our power hitter, Dr. Jones will bat sixth, and I will bat eighth, usually a spot for a poor hitter but I do not mind. As the game conmenses, I approach my first target. 

Me: Hey Susan, while we have time I’d like to ask you a quick question. (I know it isn’t going to come with a quick response.) What does it mean to grow up? Why should we?

Susan yells at John, “Good eye, kid,” proceeds to turn to me with a smile. 

Susan: "Being grown up is widely considered to be a matter of renouncing your hopes and dreams, accepting the limits of the reality you are given, and resigning yourself to a life that will be less adventurous, worthwhile and significant than you supposed when you began it" (WGU 1). I can tell by your face that is a more complicated response than you were hoping for. It was a reference from my book, Why Grow Up. In my book, I talk a lot about what happens when we go through different phases of life and why our emotions and thoughts start to change. You see, not only are we going through physical and hormonal changes but we are also going through mental and psychological changes. We are expanding our knowledge and learning more of the world we know so our perspective starts to change. “Growing up requires confronting the gap between the two [reason and experience]- without giving up on either one.” (WGU 12). This brings me to answer your second question, “Why should we?”. Nice hit, Kaag!

John hit a single into left field. I’ve never seen a forty year old man move so quickly down a baseline in person.

Susan: Sorry. So basically, after referencing Jean-Jacques Rousseau, "we cannot construct a decent society without a critical mass of real grown-ups, yet we can hardly create real grown-ups within a society that doesn't want them" (WGU 125). In order to form a society that is accepting of the notion of change, I believe we need to diversify ourselves. "Travel is at least as important for learning about yourself and your culture as it is for understanding others" (WGU 152). Travel allows opportunity to grow in all aspects of life. Growing up is quite difficult, yet essential to life. Oh, looks like I’m up. Wish me luck. 

John came into the dugout with a big smile, being congratulated by the team after a rbi from our third batter, who was thrown out at first. 

Me: Great job, Kaag! I have never seen someone run that fast. You got some wheels, but hey quick question for ya, What does it mean to grow up? And why should we?

John puts his helmet away in a nike bag and takes a sip of Gatorade. While still looking down dripping in sweat he says, “You asked Susan too, didn’t you?” I laugh nervously as he looks up at me from the bench. 

John: Well, no helping it I guess. I wrote a book called, Sick Souls, Healthy Minds. My book relates heavily on the topic of mental health and seeing yourself as living a life that is worthful. It also dabbles in the concept that we are creatures of habit, that being said I believe we have some control over these habits, "The choice of habits to actively cultivate and which emotions to feed may not be entirely up to us but it is also not wholly beyond our control.” (SSHM 68). William James is the sole story in my book. He opened my eyes into a lot of what life is and how it is perceived. Life isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. In fact, it can be quite the opposite, “If one looks carefully, suffering is not the exception but the rule” (SSHM 43).  While life can be cruel, it can be combated by a little thing called love,  "Usually [love] does transform life for a better or for ill, for richer or for poorer. Love's conditions are up to you" (SSHM 65). As we grow up, we experience stages of life we are bound to go through emotions of worthlessness or sorrow, but we must realize that it is only a phase, "Any state of affairs, or more accurately, state of mind, is temporary" (SSHM 104). Life is worth living, don’t ever forget that.

By the time John had finished his sentence we were being called into to switch and take the field. John took second base, Susan took third, Dr. Jones took shortstop, and I took centerfield. I like to observe action, but still be able to make good plays. After a grueling bottom of the inning, we finally made three outs. We were down by two runs. Returning to the dugout was my chance to talk to April.

Me: That was some good play action, nice job out there. While I have you here, quick question. What does it mean to grow up? Why should we?

April: Simply put I can’t give you an exact answer, but I can tell you what it means to me to grow up. In my book, No Mess No Message: Finding Strength in Struggle and Purpose in Pain, I explain the story of exactly that, growing up. I share my story of growing up and experiences to understand why bad things happen to us and what we can do to take those experiences and turn them into something that will better our lives, “Sometimes we have to hit rock bottom before we will force ourselves to look up” (NMNM 47). “Empathy is somehow more meaningful than sympathy” (NMNM 61). As we grow up, we tend to put ourselves in a position where we truly believe that no one knows what we are going through. That no one has been through the pain and struggle I feel now. Growing up you realize that you are not alone and you shouldn’t give up on someone just because you can’t relate personally to them. The point is that life is worth living and you shouldn’t just live it for yourself. Do everything in your power to love and help others.

The next four innings I sat and thought about each conversation. I pondered on the similarities that each one of them told me. I began to think once more and I had one question left. The game ended with a score of 6-9. A high scoring game with a great turn out for the foundation. I gathered my teammates together and asked the final question, “What makes life worth living?”

John: Quite a bold question. I believe that life is worth living for a number of reasons, but the most important is the connections we build with others and the power that love holds.

Susan: I would have to agree with John. I believe learning of other cultures and being able to bond with others is important, but I also think that knowledge and confrontation of our emotions is just as important. I believe that educating ourselves makes us a better person and forms us into the person we are to become. Realizing that the world is not what we all thought it was in the beginning. Life is for self improvement and adventure.

April: I believe all these things are true, yet one thing that is missing in my opinion are the things we do on this earth and in this life for others. Helping someone in need is the most fulfilling and gratifying feeling you could experience. I believe that life is worth living because the people around you can dramatically change it. Life is uncertain, mysterious, and can change in a single moment. While we are here, we should take advantage of every moment as if it were our last. 

Me: Thank you everyone for a great game, but most importantly thank you for everything you have taught me.