Final Blog Post

 

Final blogpost - Andrew Kroger

So, I am sitting here at my computer after a sleepless night nine months into a pandemic. I am bored, lonely, stressed.  I turned 21 last month, in the middle of a freaking pandemic, no party, no fanfare. Here I am at the beginning of what most people consider real adulthood wondering what does it all mean and why does it matter? Why grow up? How do we know when we have reached that finish line for childhood and achieve the status of adult. Do I even want to be a grown up? Why should I grow up, and is there a choice in the matter anyway?  Well, I am stuck here. Maybe a call to a friend in California?

Andrew:  Hey Elly, 

John Kaag: Sorry buddy, not Elly. Sorry to disappoint.

Andrew: Oh I am sorry, I was just trying to trying to reach my friend in California for a late night talk about adulthood. It's earlier there.

John Kaag: Wrong coast I am afraid.  Luckily I am up pretty late myself. Adulthood huh? I actually teach philosophy here in Massachusetts. Maybe I can help.

Andrew: Hey, I am sorry to have bothered you. It's even later there. I just turned 21 and my sister just moved out. My mom keeps saying I have reached adulthood, but sometimes she says she knows 40 year olds who aren't grown up, so what does it mean to grow up anyway?

John Kaag: Well, I think part of the answer you are looking for is that while you are now a legal adult in all aspects, there is no set point for adulthood.  A lot of it has to do with experience and embracing experience to learn and mature, even though it contradicts our pre-conceived notions (SSHM 141-142). You should read one of my favorite philosophers, William James, or you could just read my book on William James. (Kaag laughs.)  It is pretty late here though. Make your call to Elly.  Hey, I have the number of a friend, another philosopher who has done a lot of work in this area. Her name is Susan Neiman. We don't always agree, but she wrote a whole book on the subject. If you like, I can set up a zoom call later.

Andrew: That would be great. Strange, but great. Thanks!

Next night much earlier:

Andrew: Hi, thanks for the invite.

John Kaag: No problem. I have Susan joining in. There she is now. Hi, Susan. This is Andrew, who called me last night.

Susan Neiman: Hi John, Hi Andrew, I hear you had some late night thoughts about growing up?

Andrew: Yes, to be fair, I was just feeling a little down about turning 21 during 2020. Things feel a little pointless right now. College online is depressing. I never leave my house except to work. It seems like a terrible time to grow up.

Susan:  It is a hard time right now, but take comfort in the fact that some of what you are feeling is perfectly normal, Covid or not. In my book Why Grow Up?, I talk about the fact that as you get older some of what you are feeling goes away. Partially because you have experience disappointment, you lose childhood expectations that everything is supposed to be wonderful. When you have been through hardships, the ups and downs of life don't throw you so much.  As I say in my book, "The edge is gone, but so is the hangover. You have learned not to count so much on the things outside you" (WGU, 109).

Here, I can add this video into our call. It addresses some of the questions you have

Andrew: Thank you for that. That explains a lot.

Susan: Try focusing on what you can control, like becoming a good person . "You will sleep better, and hurt less, if you turn your sights inward, for a good soul is in reach when nothing else is" (WGU 109)  An author I quote in my book, Immanuel Kant defines maturity as, "the ability to think for oneself." It's a matter of balancing what is and what ought to be and being able to deal with it effectively. By that definitions, growing up never really stops. (WGU, 123)

Andrew: Thank you both for talking to me. It's getting late again. I appreciate your time.

John Kaag: You are welcome, Andrew. Have a good night.

Call ends. I am in bed, but insomnia strikes hard thinking on the earlier call.

Cigar smoke rises in my room, which is so weird.  I smell whisky and leather. My gaming chair is no longer there. In it's place I see a leather chair, and in it sits Samuel Clemons aka Mark Twain).

Andrew: What the..how...??

Samuel Clemons: I hear you have some questions about adulthood young man. 

Andrew: Yes, but, how..??

Clemons: I once was asked to give advice to youth growing up. I gave them great advice, if they know how to live by it.

What was the advice?

Clemons: "Be respectful to your superiors, if you have any, also to strangers, and sometimes to others. If a person offends you, and you are in doubt as to whether it was intentional or not, do not resort to extreme measures; simply watch your chance and hit him with a brick. That will be sufficient. If you shall find that he had not intended any offense, come out frankly and confess yourself in the wrong when you struck him; acknowledge it like a man and say you didn’t mean to. Yes, always avoid violence; in this age of charity and kindliness, the time has gone by for such things. Leave dynamite to the low and unrefined."

Andrew: What? That sounds like terrible advice!  Oh, wait, that's satire, right?

Clemons: Well I did tell them to read good books. "There are many sorts of books; but good ones are the sort for the young to read. remember that. They are a great, an inestimable, and unspeakable means of improvement. Therefore be careful in your selection, my young friends; be very careful; confine yourselves exclusively to Robertson’s Sermons, Baxter’s Saints' Rest, The Innocents Abroad, and works of that kind."

Andrew: Well, that is better advice. I hope they got the satire. We don't want kids growing up hitting people with bricks.

Clemons: Ok, well one last piece of haunting advice. "You can't reach old age by another man's road. My habits protect my life but they would assassinate you."

Andrew. Oh, you mean travel my own path. Now, that is good advice, haunting advice...? You mean I am not dreaming?

Clemons: I don't know know, don't you?