Final- To Grow Up and Live

This an imaginary conversation between Susan Neiman, John Kaag, William James, and myself. We will discuss two questions: "What does it mean to grow up and why should we?" and "What makes life worth living?"  (Barbara Frizzell, Section 11)

 

 

FRIZZELL: Hello Susan Neiman, John Kaag, and William James! I have a few questions for us to discuss today, so let’s dive right into the first one. What does it mean to each of you to grow up and why should we?

 

NEIMAN: This is basically the topic I discuss throughout my whole book, but first I want to address the Peter Pan issue. Society today urges people to not grow up and to stay young forever. This is seen in the clearest way through the plot line in Peter Pan where the children of Neverland don’t grow up. Lots of people feel this desire to stay young because “being grown up is widely considered to be a matter of renouncing your hopes and dreams, accepting the limits of the reality you are given, and resigning yourself to a life that will be less adventurous, worthwhile, and significant.”(1) But as described through Immanuel Kant’s maturity metaphor, “growing up is a matter of acknowledging the uncertainties that weave through our lives; often worse, of living without certainty while recognizing that we will inevitably continue to seek it.” (4)

JAMES: Yes, I agree that growing up is more than giving up on life. People perceive a person as a successful grown up when they materially have a lot- not when they are mature and morally grown up. You could “take the happiest man, the one most envied by the world, and in nine cases out of ten his inmost consciousness is one of failure.” (SSHM 1) Growing up is a matter of the mind, not a material or professional goal. 

 

FRIZZELL: I think that is the perfect way to look at what it means to grow up, but now I’d like to ask why do it? Lots of people, as Susan said, think growing up means being discouraged. I think one should grow up to make a better world for themselves, their family, their communities, and humanity. This can be in many different ways and in many different levels. 

 

JAMES: To address the discouraged adults: “Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact.” (SSHM 5)

Here is a song called "I'm Not Afraid of Life" by RAMONES. It's lyrics discuss growing old and minimum wage, but still not being afraid of what is to come. They don't want to die young and say there is hope for the world today. 

 

KAAG: Yes! This is what “I think… saved my life… [because it] encouraged me not to be afraid of life… On good days, when my sick soul speaks only quietly, James insistence works very well. On bad days, it helps me hang on.” (5)

 

NEIMAN: Of course, there is a balance though. “Growing up requires confronting the gap between the two [reason and experience]- without giving up on either one.” (12)  Look at how the world could be or should be, but don’t forget how it is. Problems are still problems even when you focus on the silver lining. It is almost always best to believe that your life is worth living, but make sure not to ignore problems along the way.

 

KAAG: This is how I encourage myself to keep living and to keep growing up. I say: “maybe there [is] still time to make good on the meaning of life, to find, but more likely to make, something of value before it [is] too late.” (9) You grow up to become better and to make a better world. 

 

JAMES: Exactly! This is perfectly illustrated in the time when I came to “the place where the road forks. One branch [led] to material comfort, the fleshpots, but it seem[ed] kind of like selling one’s soul. The other to mental dignity and independence; combined however with physical penury.” (21-22) I had to decide between a material life in business or a meaningful, adult life in science. Only the latter option would bring me happiness as I tried to make a better world for myself and others, rather than just myself. As it was and still is, I believe greed is a mark of one who is not yet grown. 

An adult that never grew up and doesn't enjoy life.

 VS.

An adult with a hopeful outlook and enjoys life.

FRIZZELL: I agree 100 percent with that last statement. Choosing a life path solely because you want comfort and to have more materially is the wrong life path. As James said, these people have failed and are not truly happy with themselves and their things. A person who is living well and is truly grown up is one that chose a life that will better more than themselves. Now to move onto the second question: What makes life worth living?

 

JAMES: “Life is “maybe” worth living as “it depends on the liver.” (SSHM 9) This is enough to say that you should keep living just in case it is worth it someday. But also, if you look at Marcus Aurelius’ philosophy there is a simple answer to why life is always worth living. “It seems to me that any man who can, like him, grasp the love of a ‘life according to nature’ i.e. a life in which your individual will becomes so harmonized to nature’s will as cheerfully to acquiesce in whatever she assigns you, know that you serve some purpose in her vast machinery which will never be revealed to you- any man who can do this will, I say, be a pleasing spectacle, no matter what his lot in life.” (SSHM 27) 

 

NEIMAN: I think life is worth living so that there is another opportunity for another true adult in the world. Grow up “because it is harder than you think, so hard that it can amount to resistance- even rebellion.” (192) Grow up think for yourself and resist the status quo. 

These pictures are screenshots of High School Musical's "Stick to the Status Quo". This musical number perfectly shows how society pressures people to fit into their roles and not think for themselves or pursue their passions. 

 

FRIZZELL: That is so true! Personally, I love the idea of rebelling against the status quo. Being morally grown up can look like you haven’t grown up. By this I mean that you can be free to not be defeated by the way the world is and continue to live in a way that strives for a better world. This can go against what everyone else is doing, but it shows mental maturity to think for yourself and choose what you want for yourself. Striving for a better world may cause defeated adults to call you naïve, but you could also say they are naïve for giving up too early in life (which one could say should be never). 

 

Barbara Frizzell, Section 11