Life is Hard Chapter 4: Failure

 Amanda Burbage

Prof. Oliver

PHIL 1030 Section #10

December 8, 2023

"The Foundational Myth of Failure..."

    "is that it's our own fault," writes social historian Joe Moran. He goes on to explain that because control is never absolute, we cannot blame ourselves completely for our perceived failures. Furthermore, if we frame our lives around what we are least proud of, we are accepting a lower quality life than the one we can have if we look at our experiences as a whole. It all comes down to how we narrate our lives.

Don't Treat Your Life as a Project to Complete    

    Kieran Setiya transitions from the writings of Joe Moran to explaining the tendency some people have to view their lives as a linear narrative. This idea that our lives are a story "heading for a climax that it may or may not reach" is extremely problematic, because it sets people up for failure, raising the concerns: what if you never reach your peak? What if you peak too soon? What happens after you peak?

    Life doesn't just stop after you reach your goals, but if your entire life has been building up for that one moment, you might be left feeling empty afterwards. How do you go on when your reason for existing has already been fulfilled? Setiya advises against this kind of mindset because our lives are complicated and not easily defined. It would be impossible to accurately express your story in a linear narrative style. People aren't meant to have one singular purpose in life and then die immediately after meeting it; once you reach a goal, make a new one. And you don't have to have just one at a time, be ambitious, have a catalog, a bucket-list of things to do with your life. There's a difference between having lofty goals and making them your reason for existing. Cultivate a healthy relationship with your aspirations so if you achieve something, you aren't left floundering, and if you don't achieve it, you aren't left hopeless. 

making it up the hill once doesn't have to be the end of the journey...

https://existentialcomics.com/comic/29

Life Crises and The Fear of Falling Short

    The term "mid-life crisis" is prominent in our culture because of this idea that we all have one purpose for existing. Setiya talks about his own experience here, and how it was his life's goal to get his PhD and become a successful published author. After he did all these things, he was left feeling empty, with no idea of what he was supposed to do. Crises like these are so common because of people treating their lives as something to achieve. However, it's shifting from a phenomenon that plagues middle-aged people to something that occurs in people of all ages, especially young adults. 

    The symptoms of a quarter-life crisis are identical to that of a mid-life crisis, but the cause is entirely different. Instead of taking place after goals are met, teenagers and young adults are paralyzed by their newfound freedom, terrified to misstep. The pressure to succeed and the knowledge that, due to social media, almost everything you do has the chance to reach millions, is growing at an alarming rate, affecting people who are just barely adults and about to start their lives. Fearing judgement for being behind the curve and worrying about being publicly denounced for failing, these youngsters are wary of new experiences that might taint their narrative. The popular idea that young adulthood is the best time to be alive does not help matters. 

    In order to get over these kinds of crises, reframing is crucial. Maybe we can't change our circumstances, but we can change how we look at it. You're not on the cusp of failure because you're trying out something new, you're on the brink of discovery. Becoming an adult doesn't have to be as daunting as people make it out to be. And completing things is a good thing because now you can move on to something new. In the words of Garcia Marquez, "Life is nothing if not a continuous succession of opportunities to survive." Hopefully the goal is to live well rather than merely survive. Again, it's all in how you perceive it.

For more on quarter-life crises, watch: 

Failure as an Event, Not an Identity

    In the mid-1800s, the midst of industrialization, America was in the process of becoming the powerhouse that it is today. Capitalism and the individualistic mindset so characteristic of Western countries made the United States susceptible to the idea that success or failure in the free market should be attributed to the person, not their circumstances. Anyone can make it big, so if you're struggling, it's entirely your fault. Luck is out of the equation; it's hard work that yields success. 

    This view is extremely problematic, to say the least, and it sets the precedent that labeling people as "failures" is good motivation to get them to work even harder to succeed. Setiya mentions that the internalized belief that working hard will lead to eventual success is linked to higher suicide rates. People will always choose success rather than failure, and so insinuating that people who are struggling are allergic to hard work is ludicrous. Rather than be perceived as a lazy pig, some people would rather give up on life entirely, unable to accept their struggle as society's failure. 

    Economic failures due to inequality is a difficult topic because of how little control people have over it. There's not much you can do to "get over it," and changing your mindset doesn't change the amount in your bank account. At the very least, we can unsubscribe from this notion that being poor makes you a failure of a person and being rich means that you are a success. Failure and success are not nouns, they are not things that people can be. They are simply states of being, which can change at any time.

What Would Henry David Thoreau Think?

    Famous transcendentalist and author, Thoreau was an avid advocate for stepping away from society in favor of returning to nature. Following his philosophy doesn't have to mean living in a secluded cabin and eating berries all day, despite his chosen lifestyle. It's more about the idea that you are free to make your own decisions on how to live your life, and if you want to live authentically, you can't let the chance pass you by. Thoreau despised those who lived unintentionally, blindly following the dictates of the government and the people under it. As long as you live deliberately, you cannot be a failure. 

    We cannot control everything, a fact that Thoreau acknowledged. But we must control what we can (how we live our life within the constraints of what we have no control over). Not being able to control what you were born into, such as an impoverished family, doesn't automatically make you a failure. Thoreau thought living an immaterial life was preferable, in fact, and money means little when you're surrounded by the trees, but perhaps that wouldn't be ideal for you. So you must find a way to adapt to whatever situation you find yourself in, or try to change it if you desire, and do your best to be true to yourself, as "there is nothing impressive about living a life you do not like if you do not have to" (from the video linked above). As long as you accept what you are doing, the eyes of society matter little.

   

     In this Garfield comic strip from 1990, Jon implies that society makes him feel like a failure because he's never achieved anything, at least in its eyes. While his interests may be obscure and not accepted by anyone else in the world, he is content to collect lint despite what other people think of him. Jon is the epitome of authentic living in this regard.

    Joe Moran said that "Life can't really succeed or fail at all; it can only be lived." And isn't that exactly what Jon Arbuckle is doing?