WGU pp. 193-234

Allie Autry

Section 13

    

    On a very basic level, in her book, “Why Grow Up?” Susan Nieman says that becoming a grown-up is a continual process rather than the arrival at a destination. She explains that you have to come to terms with the fact that the “is” of life often doesn’t match the “ought” of life. In today’s age, many people make growing up look and sound like a bad thing. In my own life, each time I would hit a new milestone, I was always told to enjoy what I had while it lasted because it wouldn’t last long and that whatever came next was going to be even harder. For example, when I got to high school, I was told to make the most of it because I would soon be graduating and consequently facing student loans and debt. When I graduated high school, I was told to enjoy college because as soon as I graduated, I would be entering the “real world” which would be full of bills and uncertainty. No one made it sound like getting older was actually a good thing. When we are young, we want to be older. When we are older, we want to be younger.  So, what makes someone grown up?  

            In trying to answer this question, Susan Neiman wrote on page 196 of her book, “It may even be misleading to think of the process as growing up, a metaphor that begins from the physical growth of childhood but encourages us to think of life as a path leading steadily towards the top of a great peak until we disappear into the clouds or slide down the other side, depending on our religious affiliation, or lack thereof. But the path isn’t steady. You reach a peak that turns out to be a foothill, steel yourself quickly to go down for a spell to walk the plateau, and until you can begin to ascend again to the top of what you’re sure is now the real peak at last.” 

            I found a post on the Columbia University website that said growing up can be thought of as a spectrum. The feeling of moving from childhood into adulthood can take many forms and can even change for an individual throughout their lifespan.

            There is a phrase I hear and I’m sure all of you have heard it too that life is a journey. An important thing to me in that is that we don’t say life is the journey. Life is what you decide to make it. You are a product of your actions and your thoughts, and you can become whatever you believe you can be as long as you put in the work. We encounter many obstacles and changes along the way that we never would have thought would happen. For instance, how many of you have changed your major or are still undecided? Studies show that between 50 and 75% of all undergraduate students change majors at least one time before earning a degree. I am one of these and a few of you are too. In my own haste to grow up, I was rushing from one thing to the next just trying to get a job that would earn me money so that I would have what I thought would be a good life. It wasn’t until I slowed down that I realized that wasn’t what I actually wanted or what would make me happy. Since we are always growing and changing, can we ever really be grown up? Who actually determines what “grown up” is? Most of us never achieve that, in our own opinion, so who are we basing that standard on? There is no rule that says you have to do x, y, and z to be grown up; it is totally up to your opinions. The laws in most states have set the legal age to define someone as an adult at 18, which would imply we are grown up. However, you can drive a car at the age of 16, join the military at age 17, but can’t legally drink alcohol until the age of 21.  So, it would seem that even the laws of our country cannot define what age someone is considered to be grown up.  You don’t have to say what it was, but how many of you have you ever done something silly and/or childish since reaching the age of 18?  Do those acts make you not grown up or are they just part of the process of growing up? Isn’t “Growing Up” merely part of the course of life?

            I’ve asked people of various ages if they feel that they are grown up. From 30 to 88 years old, no one said yes. Unless you give up on life, you aren’t done learning and growing as a person. But I would even counteract that to say that if you decide to give up, that’s an immature thing which would not give you the status of being grown up. To close, I’d like to say that I don’t think it is possible for anyone to be truly grown up, but you can strive to grow and be the best version of yourself, which will end with you feeling as if you have grown up during your journey of life, whether anyone else thinks so or not.