I have recently taken a great liking to philosophy and I have many questions that I would like to ask ancient philosophers. However, they are all dead so I will never be able to get an answer from them. So, I decided to find the next best thing. I decided to ask some of my favorite philosophers. However, every single time I tried to contact them they never responded. Instead of just taking no for an answer, I headed to the Dark Web to hire some people to kidnap them and bring them to my house. It was very expensive but now I have Nigel Warburton, Kurt Anderson, and Julian Baggini all tied up to their own chair in my kitchen.
Me: Hello gentlemen, how are you today?
Kurt Anderson: Please don’t hurt us
Nigel Warburton: If you want money, I can give it to you, please just don’t hurt us.
Julian Baggini: Please, I will give you whatever you want for you to let me go.
Me: Relax guys. I just have a couple questions for you all, should not be too hard to answer, I hope. Are you guys willing to answer my questions?
Nigel Warburton: Will you let us go after we answer?
Me: Yes of course! That is all I need from you fine gentlemen.
Nigel Warburton: Okay, I am fine with it. Ask away.
Me: Okay, sounds good. I will begin our conversation by asking this question. Do you think philosophy can help people learn to respect truth, facts, reality, and one another, and to reject falsehood, superstition, selfishness, polarization, partisanship, and mutual hostility based on differences of race, religion, ethnicity, nationality, belief, etc.? If so, how? If not, why not?
Nigel Warburton: Well, I believe it can help. However, there will always be people who disagree no matter what evidence is laid out before them. For example, Charles Darwin’s theory on evolution. His theory has overwhelming evidence that supports it, but “Darwinism may have more or less destroyed the traditional Design Argument and shaken many peoples' religious faith.” (History 151). People still do not respect the truth to this day because they have held onto certain beliefs that have been passed down from generation to generation. So to wrap up my answer, I do believe philosophy helps, but it will always take time for people to change.
Me: Thank you for your response, Julian, Kurt? If you want me to let you go, then you need to answer my questions.
Kurt Anderson: I guess I will give it a go. I do not believe that it can help, matter of fact I do not believe much of anything will help. There will always be progress and there will always be relapses within our societies. The 20th century is always looked at like there was a lot of progress, but that is not the case. We had both. “From the turn of the century through the 1920s, new spiritual fads and kooky religious denominations arose, along with aversion to migrating hordes, Italians and Jews over from Europe, African Americans up from the South.” (Fantasyland 118). Nigel might be optimistic that time will bring more progress, but I believe it will always be a constant cycle of taking one step forward and one step back.
Me: More of a negative outlook but I will take it. Thank you for responding. Julian how about you answer this question and we will be half way done. Sound good?
Julian Baggini: Well I probably do not have a choice so I might as well get this over with. I do believe that philosophy can help us to understand truth and fact. However, I do believe that in order for truth and fact to come out, there must be disagreements. “Harmony cannot be achieved if all differences are eradicated or if they are so marked as to make common purpose impossible.” (World 323). If we all agree then there can be no progress.
Me: Interesting view, I appreciate the answer.
Kurt Anderson: Are you going to let us go now?
Me: I have one last question and I will untie you and let you go on your way.
Julian Baggini: Just ask it so you can let us go!
Me: Fine. How would you answer William James's "really vital question for us all: What is this world going to be? What is life eventually to make of itself?"
Julian Baggini: I believe this is an easy one. We simply don’t know. “Philosophy was largely apologetics: the rational justification of revealed truths.” (World 16). What this world will be and make of itself is not something we can even begin to know and understand. I hope that in the future you will untie me, but I don’t know that.
Me: I will untie you; I just need Nigel and Kurt to answer this one last question. Great answer though.
Kurt Anderson: I must say that you are quite crazy, but these are some good questions. I have to agree with Julian, we simply do not know. Think about Christopher Columbus, “Instead of Japan, he got the Bahamas. But he discovered a New World.” (Fantasyland 18). The majority of people in that time had no clue that there were two giant continents between the Pacific and Atlantic oceans. They had no idea what their world was going to be or become, so how can we?
Me: Excellent answer! Nigel, I just need your answer and I will let all of you go.
Nigel Warburton: I think I have to agree with Kurt and Julian. “No one knows anything – and even that’s not certain. You shouldn’t rely on what you believe to be true. You might be mistaken.” (History 15). We can’t predict the future and we will never truly know the future until it becomes the present.
Me: Thank you for your answer.
Julian Baggini: Will you let us go please?
Me: I suppose I will, you guys answered all of my questions after all.
I untied all three and before I got to tell them good bye, they all ran out of my house never to be seen again. That is until the police showed up at my home and arrested me for kidnapping and I had to see all three of them testify against me in court. While I am rotting in my prison cell, I decided to write down my conversation with these three very smart men. Hopefully to the people that are reading this can find answers to their questions, I know I have.
Maybe your first question should be: what's your view of the ethics of kidnapping? In my experience you really don't have to tie most philosophers up, to get them to talk.
ReplyDelete"it will always take time for people to change" - it takes more time for some individuals than others, but societies often change remarkably quickly. Consider for instance the recent history of ideas about gender, marriage equality, etc. Or for that matter, consider how Darwin's "Origin" changed 19th century society, and philosophy, radically and suddenly.
"get this over with" - ?
"We simply don’t know" the future, of course; but the point is: do we care? Is it NOT a "vital" question, that goes to the heart of the meaning of our lives?