SCENE- By some random happenstance… 3 men walk into “Big Thinkers Bath House” and
wait at the front desk waiting for the keys to the sauna. After an unusually long wait the owner
(Calvin Parrack) comes to the front desk. The men are taken aback… Calvin Parrack is known to
have the biggest… brain in all of sauna philosophy History!
Calvin- Sorry for the wait gentlemen.
Nigel, Kurt, and Julien (in unison)- No problem sir we are graced to be in your presence.
Calvin- LET ME FINISH! Sorry is what i would say if i had any regard for the duration of time
you spent waiting to get into the MOST prestigious bath house in all of the world.
Julien- I’m sorry, but how exactly can you claim this is the most “prestigious” philosophical
sauna in the world.
Nigel- Yes.. That claim really has no credibility, it is all a matter of opinion and there is no way
you can ensure that someone's opinion of this bath house can really even be valid even if you had
access to people's thoughts on the matter.
Julien- You would have to ask everyone leaving this place how much they enjoyed their
experience, which how could that even be accurately measured? And on top of that the level of
pressure would most likely create a response bias to anyone answering the question. There is
no way to know the validity of any opinion.
Calvin- Well how can you really ensure the validity of anything in the world? How can you be
sure of what reality is and isn't?
Nigel- I guess you pose a good point.. If I had to comment on the way we perceive and
justify reality, I would say, “it is a contribution of our minds. We don't have direct access to the way
the world is. Nor can we ever take the glasses off and see things as they truly are. We're stuck
with this filter and without it we would be completely unable to experience anything. All we can do
is recognize that it is there and understand how it affects and colors what we experience.” Page 110
Kurt (frustrated and annoyed)- You nincompoops! This has to be the most prestigious philosophy
bath house in the world, because it is the ONLY one in the world!
*Nigel, Julian, and Calvin all chuckle*
Calvin- Well now that i've got you lads all warmed up and thinking, I’d say it’s time we get into
the sauna.Towels on big boys !
Calvin- So now that we are more comfortable maybe i can really get a crack at that big muscle
between your.. Ears
*the men are not only sweating because of the heat but also due to the intense barrage of erotic
innuendos*
Calvin- Do you think philosophy can help people learn to respect truth, facts, reality, and one
another, and to reject falsehood, superstition, selfishness, polarization, partisanship, and mutual
hostility based on differences of race, religion, ethnicity, nationality, belief, etc.? If so, how? If not,
why not?
Nigel- Wow, interesting question.. And very well worded. It seems as if some ghost of a philosophy
professor possessed your body and compelled you to say that…
Calvin- Well they don't call this “Big Thinkers Bath House” house for no reason! I'm sure you will
have many great philosophers come inside of you at some point! You just really don't want to be
possessed by any Nihilists. Trust me it’s NOT fun.
Kurt- Well i have always believed facts are such an important part of philosophy if you observe
the things you know to be true then you can always delve deeper into any philosophical discussion
and understanding. This in turn I believe can always make you respect the facts more and more
because they are the foundation of truth.
Nigel- Kurt what exactly do you know to be the truths of philosophy?
Kurt- “If I think it’s true, no matter why or how I think it’s true, then its true, and nobody can tell me
otherwise” (FL pg.49)
Nigel- Well geez i was just asking!
Julien- Kurt, i'm going to have to disagree with you there, i believe We spend too much time
trying to label everything, when in reality everything is really connected; we are all one in the
universe. I've said before that, “To make single individuals absolute judges of truth is
most pernicious” (HWT pg. 84)
Nigel- I Really just think a basic understanding of philosophy goes hand in hand with morals,
Not everything is right or wrong; you must measure the good of a decision by its consequences.
Discrimination is a concept that holds no reasonable validity or advantage and I believe anyone
with a plain understanding of philosophical beliefs can see this.
Calvin- so in regards to that how crucial do you believe philosophy is to our world and society?
What is this world going to be? What is life eventually to make of itself?
Nigel- Im not too sure about the absolute effects philosophy can “ensure.” We shouldn't be
obsessed with what our effect on the future but rather focus on the present. Philosophy is primarily
an attempt to understand, and there’s no guarantee that philosophy will benefit us psychologically
in any way.
Julien- Agreed and i don't think anything is ever set in stone, Nobody possesses one essence their
entire life, Humans are ever changing and developing and have some degree of control over how
we evolve.
Calvin- Optimistic! I like that take. Kurt?
Kurt- I think we all know how i feel about society and things have already essentially gone to shit.
Things are not getting better politically, no one will accept other beliefs and the internet is an echo
chamber of bias…
Calvin- Wow! Kurt you just love fun don't you! Well... thank you guys all for your thoughts today.
I hope to see you back soon, and i would just like to ask one last question… are you guys keeping your
latest novels under your towels, or are you just excited to be thinking?!
You misspelled "Julian"...
ReplyDelete"There is no way to know the validity of any opinion" - none of our authors, nor any intelligent person for that matter, would ever say that.
"some ghost of a philosophy professor" - not a ghost yet, thanks...
“If I think it’s true, no matter why or how I think it’s true, then its true, and nobody can tell me otherwise” - Are you seriously suggesting that Andersen thinks this is "a truth of philosophy"?!
Kurt Andersen does, in fact, "love fun." He hates dishonesty. Those are compatible attitudes.
I know you're going for humor, Calvin, and that might have worked. Not at the expense of accuracy, though. It's possible to have a serious, respectful, AND humorous conversation. A bit more of each would have been good. A bit less sexual innuendo might have worked, too.
I do like the touch of optimism from "Julien"... Hope for the future.